Will what cause you lack of self-esteem be the booster for your achievement?

       Is self-esteem essential in life? I say yes and most probably everyone says that. It is only less than two months left to welcome 2014 but have you built this aspect in yourself? No one knows the answer except you. There are many reasons cause the lack of self-esteem. I give you an example. For me for instance, I will turn 24 and about to be a sophomore next year. I have to admit that sometimes my age do shakes my self-esteem. 23 is young for a graduate student but not really young for those who just in the second semester for undergraduate study. A big fish among the small ones in a small pond, that is how I see myself as.

       Most of my ex-schoolmates have already owned their first degree's scroll and not to mention are currently graduate students. Even in my own campus, whenever I reveal about my age, the first question they will shoot is, "Are you a final year student?". Frankly, it bothers me sometimes. It kind of like once you get into 23, it is either you have to be the final year student or a freshman of graduate studies or you already got your paycheck monthly. It is like a life's schema which I am not really into it. Well,this is not about the number is getting bigger, it is about the number that is getting bigger does not fit the situation I am currently in. You know what I am trying to say?

       However, I did not drag this dilemma of mine into my study. It actually helps me a lot to be a better student. Since I am one of the elders in my batch, my age reminds me that I have to look good in the eyes of these younger friends of mine. Whenever I do my assignments, no matter how late I started the work, I will make sure it will be one of the assignments with the finest mark, I will perform the best presentation in group presentations, be one of the highest achievers in examinations, be an active learner in brainstorming sessions and a lot more.

       My age helps me to become more matured and guides me how to behave in society. All of these suddenly make me forget all that silly thinking of me being left behind compares to my other peers. My so-called 'weakness' may seem nothing to people out there. But to those who feel like what I once felt, please guys, do not let it be the reason of your inferiority. INFERIORITY. It is a disease. It eats you without you aware of it. Try to see the good side of the causes or at least try to make good of them. There is no such thing of bad things about you cannot be fixed up because when life knocks you down, it is your choice whether or not to get back up. 

terhantuk, terngadah

Bila tengok certain gambar, definitely I'll be so sad. Sebabnya, bila tengok orang dalam gambar tu I was like, hhmmm rapatnya kita dulu. Tapi sekarang nak contact pun jarang. Jumpa apatah lagi.

Kekangan masa?

Maybe.

Kita ada masa di waktu yang berlainan. Perfect timing hah.

Next, saje tak jumpa?

Pun mungkin.

Aku kecik hati but please, sape pun kisah?

huhh

Setakat terduduk mengeluh pun takkan dapat baiki apa-apa kot.

Buat apa dilayan rajuk kalau kau jugak yang rugi nanti

Orang bukannya nampak

-_-

?

This year's Ramadhan is not very productive for me, I am not very productive, precisely and these few days, I can't even control my mood. Everything gets on my nerves and what makes it weirder is I don't even know why am I behaving that way or what makes me, at least. Is it too much to say that I feel like I have been the slave of my own temper? Nah, it sounds nothing less than I do have some conflicts with myself. Huh

Another Hero :)

Holaaaa peeps!

I am so super excited on the birth of another HERO in my family! It was yesterday, 13th of May 2013, at 5.32 pm when I received a message. I checked my inbox and yeah, it was from my mother: "Kak Sya dah bersalin".  Then, I was like what the heck am I doing here? Why did all these heroes come out at the moment I'm not around? What should I say if somehow when they grow up and ask me:

Heroes: "Acik, what did you do outside the labor room during our 'struggling' of 'coming out' to this world?
Awesome Acik: "Aaaaa.. sorry dudes. I'm not there when you were born -_-' ".
Hero: What?*&#!@ --> Aaa okey, this is exaggerating. I don't think they even bother to ask.haha :P

There are few complications to deliver this big guy. At last, caesarian is the only way to bring him out. So, big guy, be a good son okay! To kak Sya, hope you are doing fine. Get well soon.

Well, it would be more epic if he born on 12/5 (right on mother's day). But, who cares?hee
Anyways, this is him, my second nephew:)

 

*Aaaarrghh.. I cannot wait until end of June to come home!huh

That biggest thing

I have no idea of what the heck am I doing right now. I have bunch of assignments lined up to be completed, 4 more exams to go down and yeah, here I am, spending most of the day with chatting and some other nonsense stuffs. Not to mention yesterday, I spent the whole day by watching hindustan and kdrama. I just got in bed at what? 4 am? (keep it up farah -_-")
Oh god! what happened to me? Where's my enthusiasm? I thought I am the woman of my word. I begged for this and yet I take this for granted right now. Some people just don't know how to appreciate things they got ha? Perhaps, I am that 'some people'. When it's too late to act, then serve me right.

Harapnya jadi lah ea

My superb best friend told me yesterday that she will be coming to Sarawak this April and me, of course acted like super duper excited on her plan. I hope that she will be here real soon because I missed her sooooo much! Kalau tak jadi, I sumpah u jadi peti ais yang banyak makanan ok! sekian :P

She is my best friend, sister, someone who listens to my things and pleas, shares and holds the same dream like mine and even will give any of her not-so-fit-to-her clothes from her wardrobe. I have to take it or she will keep annoying me day and night to take all the clothes.But still, there are some more left behind.(I hope you don't bring them here. haha)

Dear Anis Joha yang cantik lagi jelita, I thanked you for all the things you've done for me. I received so much from you and.......
you received so much from me too.(hahahahaha. saje loghat :P)
But yeah, I don't need to say much, you just know and also, I love you so much even kau kepit leher aku dekat tingkap kereta. hahahaha (gelak guling-guling)

Sunday. It's not ice-cream. It's a day!

Title has nothing to do with the entry. My Sunday is as boring as usual.

Nothing much to do this morning. Plus, my roommate gone early in the morning." Ada program fakulti". That was what she told me yesterday. Speak about program, I've been quite busy this whole week with all the classes everyday and things. Not to mention all the college activities that I've been joining since last week. To be honest, I feel kinda exhausted because it's been years since the last time I participated in these kind of activities (I mean, I used to spend my life with the 'doing-nothing-all-day activity' for 1 year). So, it's a bit tough for me to adopt the new environment. But well, I might take this as a life-changing challenge. Hehe. It's so fun actually to join activities while you are still in the university. What you need is a good time management so that you won't feel burdened with all these stuff (I mean, that burdened)..Oklah, it's 10.49 am already and I wanna take my breakfast now. (Can I still call it breakfast?-_-")

UPIT UNIMAS

UPIT susah. Siape yang takde ilmu komputer yang bagus, maka bersedialah menghadapi UPIT yang susah tu. kbye

Buah cempedak di luar pagar
Ambil galah tolong jolokkan
Saya budak baru belajar
Kalau salah tolong tunjukkan


Bukan nak meroyan pasal apa pun. Nak bagitau jugak yang me and few friends salah masuk kelas banyak kali pagi tadi. Hebat kan. Kesan tidur lambat (sangat kannn). Padahal dalam schedule dah terang-terangan stated subjek sekian sekian sekian di kelas sekian sekian sekian. Tapi memandangkan tahap konfiden yang tinggi dalam diri, takde sorang pun antara kitorang yang refer jadual. Pandai-pandai decided kelas di sekian sekian sekian. Selepas 2 kali masuk kelas orang lain, yang ketiga barulah betulnya pun hadui.

Moral of the story:
*Sila pastikan anda menyemak jadual kelas sebelum berlagak yakin

Here I am

Ok, It's been quite few days since my arrival in Sarawak. This is my first time ever to be here. I have never been here before (kesian). So quite jakunlah jugak. Jangan pelik ok kalau statement tu berbaur loghat. Ini semua kesan keterujaan yang keterlampauan. Sekian.

I have numbers of first impression toward Sarawak. But don't worry Sarawakians, because they are all the good ones. However, the one thing that really caught my eyes is the roundabouts in Sarawak. Oh my god! Sarawak owns the most f***ing huge roundabouts in Malaysia (I guess)! It has a LOT! It's like you can even build a gas station in it or maybe a secret recipe's restaurant?-_- It is that BIGGGGG. So better you make sure that you do not miss the axis if you do not want to make a free tour (especially for those who are in rush).  But yeah, Sarawak is a beautiful state. I have so much places to visit. Hope that I can finish traveling the whole Sarawak in these 3 years (Konon lah kan. Entah melangok je aku nanti)

After 2 days spending time with my family in Kuching and Santubong, My mood changed. I started to feel quite sad. Because it was about time for us to say goodbye. After my registration in UNIMAS on the 3rd day, we were hugging and kissing each other. My mom cried and so did my aunt. I almost crying too but well, since I'm so-cool kind of person (please, don't hate me. haha), I managed to hold back my tears. I just don't want my family especially my mom to see me crying. I don't know why. It just because. Finally, farewell

Then, my new chapter in life begins. We (all the new students) started the orientation session at 8.30pm. It's quite tough for me to wake up early for solat subuh berjemaah. Talk about that, I have to adapt myself to the new prayer time. In here, the prayer time is approximately 30 minutes earlier than West Malaysia. So, during the orientation days, I need to wake up at four something at morning. It was quite challenged for me tau if you know me well enough. haha. On that very first day in UNIMAS, I started to learn speak in Sarawak accent and slang. Since my roomate (Fira) is half Sarawakian (her grandparents from her mother's side are Sarawakians. Untunglah kampung dekat. Jelous nak mati aku). The first word she taught me is "nang tingai". It means "sangat degil". Or in n9, we said "bega gile". And the funny thing about trying to speak like Sarawak native speakers is, I'm surely a great imitator because a Sarawakian thought that I am a Sarawakian too. That short conversation goes like this:

The Sarawakian: ......... (something that I swear I don't understand)
Me: ha?
The Sarawakian: ..........
Me: ha?
After kept on ........-ing and ha?-ing he finally came out with this question
The Sarawakian: Kamu orang apa sebenarnya?
Me: Negeri Sembilan kot
The Sarawakian: Mati-mati aku ingat Sarawak -_-"
Me: Laugh Out Loud

I don't have much problems with the foods. So far, most of the foods sold in the cafe are basically the same like in west Malaysia. And the price is affordable too. So cheap. But how good they tasted, it is out of the question =p. It is not that they tasted terrible. It's only that all the familiar foods that we usually eat in west Malaysia tasted a big different in here or maybe because they are cafe foods. You know la kan.. cafe. (that's my opinion. Listen :p). But, for Sarawak cuisines, I tell you la. terbaik! Mi kolokkkk (I'm not sure it is actually with k or without k)!! and I'm on my way to try the name-not-so-sure, nasi goreng dabai (I think so). Looking forward to it :)

Dan lagi, the distance from my residential college to my campus is sooooooooooooooooooooo. I don't need to finish my word I guess. You can simply know it based on the amount of O letter. It takes 20 minutes dudes, babes, and whoever you are for me to get to my faculty/classes. Surely I might loss some weight. Good lah kan. Papan aku -_-

Oklah, nak cerita detail sangat, esok pun tak habis lagi. Besides, it's 12 something a.m already. And I got 8 a.m class. Bertambah-tambah bagus pulak kan. I will keep updating my back-to-student life (Perhaps, means whenever I have free time la). Till then, good night semua!

Apakah?

Hey guys! selamat 4.26 pm. Ibu dan ayah saye baru balik dari membeli barang dapur. Jadi, sememangnya dari pagi tadi saye duduk seorang diri di rumah. Biasalah duduk rumah sorang-sorang ni kerjanya berangan je. Nak buat cemane kan. Tulah antara bakat terpendam saye yang berjaya dicungkil oleh saye sendiri-_-""
Anyways, saye nak bagitahu satu perkara yang paling saye tension sekali bile berade di rumah sorang-sorang. Tak kesahlah rumah sendiri ke sewa ke rumah makcik ke atok ke, senang cite mane-mane rumah lah.

Saye paling paling paling paaaaling stress gile bile saye baru nak mandi, dengan bersungguh-sungguhnye dan di saat saye sedang menikmati betapa bestnya air paip mencecah kepala saye, tiba-tiba sayup-sayup, "Assalamualaikummm, assalamualaikummm, assalamualaikummm".
Time tulah posmen nak datang kak oii. Haihhh. Kenape beliau mesti nak datang time orang lain takde kat rumah, time orang tengah mandi pulak tu. Spoiled, spoiled tau. Tapi biase kalau kat rumah sewa dulu, saya teruskan mandi je. Sebab posmen pun biase bagi salam 3 kali je pun paling banyak. Tinggalkan notis dan lepas tu diorang blah.
Itu satu hal. Ni kalau kat kampung halaman lagilah. Macam tadi jugak, air baru cecah kepala. Tibe-tibe orang bagi salam. Bezanya, kali ni budak-budak yang bagi salam. One thing yang saye kagum pasal budak-budak ni diorang ni jenis tak putus asa. Tapi yang tak bagusnya, diorang hanya akan berhenti bagi salam bile kite jawap salam tu balik!! Diorang tak macam abang posmen ok (aarrghh). Nak taknak kenelah jawap. Dan bile kite dah jawap, demand pulak tu. Nak kite keluar, tunjuk muke. Fineee. Saye yang cool gile ni pun keluar lah. Dalam hati, ni mesti bende penting ni. Beriye bebeno bagi salam.

Budaktakpenahgiveup: Kak, nak mangge.
Kakakyangcool: ........ -_-"

Haih kids. I was like, ameklah. Dengan pokok-pokok sekali pun takpe -_-'

Tu jelah yang saye nak cerite. Takde ape sangat pun. K lah, nak makan laksa. bye!

The Journey

Budak-budak yang lahir tahun 1995 tengah sibuk isi borang UPU and I was like "ha, bukan diorang kecik lagi ke?".Aaaarrggh. You know what that means? I am getting older! Haihh, time did fly like a jet -_-  But the great thing about getting older is I started to be serious about the future since I'm a kind of responsibility-can-wait person. I might not have any idea on how my future will look like, but what I am sure is, it's gonna be aweeeeeesome!!! (pronounce it like how it spelled. haha). Dream much ha? That is so me. Like Astro said: "Go beyond". Well, everyone that is living on this mother earth would be dreaming the same thing as I am (or maybe most). To those who is already there, congratulation. Just wait, am on my way too (there she goes again. LOL =p). And to those who is still on the track or who is just about to put the shoes on, like me, I wish you best of luck. May all your sacrifices, hard works, and whatsoever paid off. Really am. It is not too late. Trust me. Because the moment you want to give up is the moment you almost get there. How did I know? Because I have been through this, once. 

 It was many many many months ago when I was waiting for my UPU result. 3 years of dream was about to come true. Full of spirits to further degree in the beginning and I failed to get into IPTA in the end. With such enthusiasm and good result, how could they turned me down. Offering me diploma instead, months after. What the heckkk?? Cewah. Here is some drama. hehe. I won't lie about how i felt that time. It was the worst feeling I have ever had. Even worse than break-up with ex. I felt soooooo lost since I did not have any other plan to do. I just have this thought in my mind "straight away to degree after diploma". That was my goal and still is. So, when that happened, I believed, "that's it. My life ends". Then, by the time I have gave in, there came the new semester intake. My mom advised me to try once again. "If you were destined to get it, then it will be yours". That was what she told me. Since I was still having the 'IPTAphobia', I was doubted if it was the right thing to do (well, I can't bear another heart-broken. hee). So I kept thinking about this matter like anytime and anywhere. The deadline of the application was closer but I still couldn't made up my mind. Until one day, at a food stall, I prayed to Allah SWT, talked to Him, begged Him to help me decide or at least give any signs. (at food stall and then signs? yeah, I was that desperate). And right after I finished gt everything off my chest, a guy who was stood right before me turned around and showed me his t shirt with this magical line 'DO NOT GIVE UP'. It maybe means nothing to you guys but a LOT to me. I was about to cry in that very moment. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah. So much! So I sent my application and 2 months later, I got the offer. My 1st choice of course and only :)  That is my story. I will never forget of my journey heading to IPTA.

In spite of the 'don't give up' spirit, the one thing that is so the very important is our duty as the servants of Allah. During my 'dark' time of not getting offered to further degree, I have been thinking about my negligence of doing my responsibility. Yes, I did the 5 times prayer in a day. But what about other ibadah? I realized that I rarely recite the Quran. Except Surah Yasin on Friday night which is sometimes I still missed it. Some more, the solat hajat, solat taubat and much more. So, my hard time makes me closer to Allah. I started recite the Quran often, doing much solat hajat and taubat sometimes. I know. It's too sad that it takes failure to get me doing all these (May Allah forgive me). But I think this is one of the reasons why He held my request. He knows best. So guys, If you wanted something from Him, you should please Him first. For me, I hope that I will keep on practicing all that. Of course I did missed the ibadah sunat many times (manusia kan. semangatnye sekejap je -_-) But yeah, let's hope for the best! May all of us succeed in whatever we do


*The most awesome thing about IPTA for me is the fee is so cheap!affordable! (berpinar mata tengok yuran setiap semester)
*I'm not ready to work. I love to study (not studying =p). I don't know it is because of the environment or friends or whatever. Perhaps I missed the overwhelmed feeling when I woke up in the morning with thousands of notes in my bed and rushed to the examination hall. weirdooooo -_-"
*Amalkan surah Al-Waqi'ah setiap hari. Semoga senang mendapat rezeki :)

Dokumen Perjalanan Terhad

Untuk pengetahuan sesiapa yang masih lagi blur-blur alam benda apa sebenarnya dokumen perjalanan terhad ni, kat sini saya akan kongsikan apa yang saya tahu :)

DOKUMEN PERJALANAN TERHAD

Dokumen yang rupa bentuk dia lebih kurang macam passport ni diperlukan kalau korang-korang semua nak tinggal di Sarawak MELEBIHI 3 BULAN. So maknanya, guna dia kat Malaysia jelah. Dokumen ni korang boleh dapat kat pasar malam je.haha kidding!

Cara-cara mendapatkan dokumen ini:

1) Pergi mana-mana pejabat imigresen kat Malaysia ni. Nak senang pergilah yang dekat dengan tempat korang tinggal.

2) Pergi kat kaunter pertanyaan atau kaunter borang atau kaunter nombor giliran (mana-mana yang disediakan lah). Cakap dengan staf kat kaunter tu yang korang nak buat dokumen perjalanan terhad ke Sarawak/Sabah. Masa ni dia akan bagitahu lah apa yang korang kena buat.

3) Dapat nombor giliran dan tunggu jelah giliran korang. Seeloknya pergi awal-awal lah. Takdelah terseksa sangat korang nak tunggu nanti.


Benda paling penting korang kena bawak masa nak buat dokumen ni:
*Gambar berukuran passport 2 keping
*Kad pengenalan (tak payah nak salinan bagai. Ori punye)
*Duit RM5 (berbaloi-baloiiii. hehe)

Dokumen ni valid untuk 5 tahun. Kot nak duduk lama lagi kat borneo tu renew jelah ye anak-anak. Lagi satu, lain jabatan imigresen, lain caranya. Ada tu kena isi borang bagai. Macam saya tak kena. Kalau nak ikutkan, sekarang ni memang dah tak pakai borang kot. Entahlah. Dah-dah. Tak payah nak confused sangat muka tu. Macam yang saya cakap kat no 2 kat atas tadi, diorang akan bagitau apa kena buat. Okay, selamat mencuba (Macam resipi masakan pulak. lol)

Good morning 2013!!
It's 2013 already. I am freaked out!! Aaaaa. I really hope there're another 365 days in 2012. Making it becomes what? 730 days a year? Come on girl, back to your senses. Ok, just cut it off. Here are my hope-my-dreams-come-true things

Wishlist: 

May I always be
  in the place I wanted to be in
  a great woman on earth(FEEL FREE TO SLAP ME =p)
  a superb auntie to nephewS and nieceS (siblings, you see the S. You know what to do. LOL)
  a weight-gainer (keep it up yeah)
  a wise chooser
  an optimistic than realistic (I had so much bad thoughts)
  a happy person as my name

I said what I had to say and did what I had to do
I can't fix bad things happened back in my old days
I'm just hoping that bad things fix me up in my brand new days


I saw Wani Ardy at Bandung airport for the first time ever, in the same flight
But I don't have the gut to approach her and now I regret to death. Great
Should I include being a bold person in the wishlist?
Consider that